And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). [5], Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. m o n t c l a i r . It is a crisis of confidence', Crisis of Confidence speech - 1979 , Jon Stewart: "They responded in five seconds", 9-11 first responders, Address to Congress - 2019, Jacinda Ardern: 'They were New Zealanders. <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> They dont fall out of the sky. We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. I'M SERVING THE NATION. Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. George Carlin. It will be a lot of fun. They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. A friend is someone you can count on. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. (LAUGHS). Difference. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . Because that's where real communication happens, folks. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." POLITICIAN:SERVING THE NATION. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. You, and I, are not in the big club. They're a digital petting zoo. m o n t c l a i r . They dont want that! And theyre elected by American citizens. They don't fall out of the sky. Then you're just what they're looking for. Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. If you have selfish, ignorant citizensif you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gunna get selfish, ignorant leaders. Complete biography of George Carlin . Then read it again. And by the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Nothing wrong with the planet. (LAUGHS). Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. 0000002565 00000 n Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. We're so obsessed with ourselves and our own little worlds that we can't even have a real conversation or a meaningful interaction with someone without checking our phones every five minutes. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. And the more noise there is, the harder it is to hear anything worth listening to. Press J to jump to the feed. everybody complains about politicians. (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). You enjoy yourselves. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). Let's get started! 124 Copy quote. endobj This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. BRAND: That's comedian George. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). Pfft! Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. The planet is fine. Their own habitat. 0000006309 00000 n CHALLENGES! Everybody says they suck. Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. 0000001412 00000 n But it's all a facade. Tired of that shit. A clean place to live. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. %%EOF Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. Search. Apparently, his last ballot was cast in 1972for McGovern. This is not good work. Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. Then youre just what theyre looking for. As long he included one additional commandment: Genius is the ultimate source of music knowledge, created by scholars like you who share facts and insight about the songs and artists they love. And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? You voted them in. Enjoyed this speech? `XX /;VU}`M%VO #5Zfb-> Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." User Clip: Carlin Mocks Politicians' Language. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . No contest. of American cultural paradoxes. People like to twist that around. I dont vote. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. From his 1992 (first ever LIVE) HBO TV special "Jammin' in New York", performed in from of 6,500 people at Madison Square Gardens. MISTAKES WERE MADE, DON'T LOOK AT ME, PROBABLY SOMEONE IN MY OFFICE. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? <>stream Now you can just hide behind a screen and fire off your misspelled, grammatically incorrect rants to thousands of strangers. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Not affiliated with OpenAI. Pfft! The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. Do you? Then share it far and wide with the little green button. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. This shit they shuffle around every four years? So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. 0000002803 00000 n And American English is loaded with euphemisms. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. You got people posting pictures of their food, their pets, their vacations. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. Add in a bit of effective protest and it might even turn a bit faster.). POLITICIAN:THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, NO ONE HAS PROVEN ANYTHING EVENTUALLY I'LL BE EXONERATED. This is what we have to offer. So, that I can continue my work in Government. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) )'B^E_2yKg&. xref They don't fall out of the sky. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. endobj (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. Quick Guide. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. FUCK THEM. Do you think its possible that one of these POLITICIANS whose judgment is so poor that he honestly thinks of himself as serving the Nation might occasionally be expected to indulge in little patriotism huh What do you think? To avoid redundancy in the comments section, we kindly ask /u/arkreder to respond to this comment with the prompt you used to generate the output in this post, so that others may also try it out. And don't even get me started on the whole idea of 'friends' on social media. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 You know what they want? Updated on May 30, 2018. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Something is definitely wrong. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. Two reasons. Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. Transcript. Please validate my existence. "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" First Response: First Response Certainly! George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. Now, folks, a question for you. for Caitlin & Johnny - 2015, Korey Soderman (via Kyle): 'All our lives I have used my voice to help Korey express his thoughts, so today, like always, I will be my brothers voice' for Kyle and Jess - 2014, Bruce Springsteen: 'They're keepers of some of the most beautiful sonic architecture in rock and roll', Induction U2 into Rock Hall of Fame - 2005, Olivia Colman: 'Done that bit. That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Well, where do people think these politicians come from? We don't need that many. [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. A friend is someone who will come over and help you move. Not in the abstract they don't. He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. And the worst part is that social media has become a platform for outrage and self-righteousness. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and because you and I have at-least one thing in common which is that all of us deal with language all the time, I thought it might be nice today for me to come to you with some of my language complaints, certainly not to blame them on you, although off-course youre implicated. endobj They don't fall out of the sky. Yeah, right. "No child left behind. Your email address will not be published. I think what we really need more of is ritual suicide, you know. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. Beep Boop, this was generated by by ChatGPT. . Everybody says they suck. x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg People are so quick to judge and attack each other over the smallest things. It has to be the WHOLE THING. I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. startxref I always thought it was kind of funny and someone out of character for a POLITICIAN to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence (LAUGHS), when indeed his very job depends upon it. THE FOOD IS GREAT BUT PUBLIC SERVICE IS TERRIBLE. 0000015151 00000 n Suddenly we're down to four. These are the websites where people go to express themselves, right? But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Another favorite distortion is Public Service. He missed this one. They OWN YOU. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. POLITICIAN:HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INITIATIVE. Power, Politics & American Sports [transcript] [VIDEO CLIP] Jesse Owens: To me, politics has no part to play on the field of strife of . If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. His political commentary was scathing and on par with any of the greats, Pryor, Chappelle, Bruce. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. Fuck em! So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. Im talking about the real owners now, the BIG owners! Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. Subreddit to discuss about ChatGPT. <> That's a friend. We're addicted to the attention, the likes, the validation. This is the best we can do, folks. George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. Schedule . It's clearly a padded list. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. But here's the thing, folks. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". So Ive made what i hope is a more readable version below, so this classic piece of polemical gold can be shared and understood more widely. But hey, I guess it's just part of my glamorous jet-setting lifestyle.'. Fuck hope!. 2023. So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. 0000008961 00000 n We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? Maybe two hundred thousand? People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. Michael Cooney was a speechwriter for @, George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999. http://www.ravendevelopers.com/blog/2013/0 Bernie Sanders: 'So the next time you hear me attacked as a socialist, remember this', Georgetown University - 2015, Jimmy Carter: 'The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". Global Search Search In. So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. %PDF-1.7 % The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . So let me tell you something. I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). No one has PROBLEMS anymore. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. What a great idea. If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. 183 0 obj He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. The only part I would take with a block of salt is the last in which he explains why he doesnt vote. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. They own and control the corporations. It's like a highlight reel of their fake lives. They're your 'likes'. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. Video Transcript - In Defense of Politicians (George Carlin, 1996) "Now there's one thing you mighta noticed I don't complain about: politicians. [FINAL NOTE: If you want to dig deeper into Carlins brilliant mind vis--vis comments on politicians and the doublespeak they are prone to use, check out The Consultation Institutes George Carlin on the language of politics. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. Shut the fuck up! Everybodys at the mall, scratchin his ass, pickin his nose, takin his credit card out of his fanny pack and buyin a pair of sneakers with lights in them. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. ], Your email address will not be published. Thank you. 0000001596 00000 n I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. Likethe public. 194 0 obj George Carlin: How you doing? "George Carlin" Scripts.com. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. 186 0 obj Comedian George Carlin addressed members and guests of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. (But First, Answer Me This). George Carlin. Such as the PROCESS: POLITICIAN:WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES. You know what they want? His satirical comments and relentless attacking a damaged system that unfairly trounced on the rights of its . ', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. "In America, anyone can become president. Youre just gunna wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans [leaders]. They don't care about the planet. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. You dont. Its a big club, and. They are irrelevant. I don't words that conceal reality. Two is all you need, folks. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. 0000003180 00000 n The table is tilted folks. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] I still cant find a flaw in it, or anything even exaggerated. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. In fact, it might be the thing that's making you unhappy. You have OWNERS! New episode of the podcast is terrific. And then there's the political posts. [5] And another one: A lot of that goes on: QUESTION:SENATOR, HAVE YOU SOLVED THAT PROBLEM?POLITICIAN:WELL, WE'RE MOVING FORWARD ON THAT. Look, I'm not against technology or communication. Maybe something else sucks around here. An INITIATIVE is an idea that isn't going anywhere! They own everything. 4 0 obj (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. Retweets do count. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. They come from American parents, American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, American universities, and theyre elected by American citizens. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). Theres a reason. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. what physically attracts an aries man, charles finley obituary,